My Love Affair The TITANIC

A women’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets.

                       – Rose Dawson Titanic


From a young age I have been in love with Titanic — the movie.

The real story is full of triumph, tragedy and new beginnings.  The triumph of being her and getting her out to see.  The tragedy is of the night in April where many lost their lives.  The new beginnings for those who were able to get to New York.

I learned and loved the history.

The film, about a fictional love on the ship, deals with all the same.  The triumph of doing the things that you desire because you have truly learned to love.  The tragedy of losing the person you love.  And the new beginning that Rose took on when she made it to New York, took on her loves name and began her new life.

First showing in theaters in the winter of 1997.  I had just turned the ripe age first age in double digits, 10.  I did not get the chance to see it then.  No adult would take me for obvious reasons.  But later on the next year, it was released to HBO.  One late night I was cleaning my room, packing actually because I was going on my first cruise and there it was.  I watched the complete three hours.  I was in awe.  I wanted to know the true story behind the sinking of the Titanic and I wanted to know if the love story was close to being true LoL.

I came to find out that it was not. That it was just a fictional story of love that including portions of the real tragedy that happened.  At my age, now, I know the first time I fell in love.  The feeling was about pure strong deep affection for a person.

It felt the way the story of Rose and Jack did.  From the minute that I saw him I wanted to know whatever I could find out about him.  Yet, I didn’t want to seem eager.  We became friends but there was this something that was unspoken.  Even after the last time we saw one another our friends had conversations between one another to talk about how we were just chicken and not saying the things that we needed to say to.

We never spoke them.

We haven’t seen one another in over ten years.

But every time I get the chance to watch Titanic I think about him.  Well, that happens outside of watching the movie but I can replay our days together as though it just happened.  I can imagine his smile.  I can imagine his eyes and the brightness in them.  I can imagine his hugs.  His voice.

If I am watching the scene where Jack and Rose are running through the ship and hiding from everyone else, I think about how funny he was.  And how one day we all played a joke on him and he chose to chase me.

I remember on captains night, him grabbing my hand as I walked by in my gown.  He looked me into my eyes and said that I was beautiful.

There is a love that Rose and Jack has in the film that can never be replaced — whether you move on with your life and create a family.  It will always hold a place in your heart.  You hope to find a love like that, but you only come close.  I know this because I have been looking for the same feeling since then.

In the end, as Rose lays on the headboard in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean while holding Jacks hand who is in the water.  She awakes to him being frozen.  She kisses his hand and tells him that she will never let him go.

In the beginning it talks about her going on to be married, being an actress and a mother.  Her life does go on.  But he is her forever love.

That cruise will not just be a memory of pain but a memory of gaining her freedom.

For me, it is the reflection that I need every time that I stop believing in love and that anything can happen.  Life is full of many possibilities and forevers.  Even if I never see him again.  I know that the love I felt (okay, feel) within is one that can be gained again.

Not just in romantic relationships but all in relationships in life — the meaningfulness behind it.

My love affair with titanic is one of my own experience in life.  One that I will never replace.  One that I will happily hold on to the rest of my life while I move on with my life.  A great reminder.

My heart will go on and love.

– Celine Dion

 

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