That is something I personally have experienced.
While handling my first degree, I had to do everything to complete my financial stuff. I was taken out of my mother’s custody by my father and his family. We had just moved into a house, and started to do some makeovers to it. It was used against her. They also took other things that were relatively normal going on in a household with a working mom and used it against her too. Why? I couldn’t tell you.
Don’t worry, my mother had her faults too. She made it a relatively easy thing for them to do. When you don’t show up. The judge can make decisions from that. Your emotional issues don’t matter when you are supposed to fighting for your child. You would guess that my father had this great home for me to go to when he made the choice to take me out of my home, right. He didn’t. He was renting a room, with a shared bathroom. The courts weren’t having it. My paternal grandmother was granted custody of me.
Or so I thought.
As I got older, I just realized that I was never going to leave my grandmother’s home. I was never going home to my mother. And I was never going to live with my father. My mom went on with her life, had a few more kids, got married and stuff. My father never got himself together as an adult but had more children after me.
After dealing with that fact, I pushed through all my primary schooling and went to college. I had to get proof that neither of my parents had custody of me and weren’t claiming me for tax purposes. Mostly, because I had been working since I was 14 years old. Any who, I needed court papers for proof and the court house was across the street from the school that I went to. I went there to get a print out. The person told me that I had not had a guardian since I was 15 years old. Neither of my parents returned to court to review the case and figure out where to place me. I didn’t believe the clerk and they gave me a print out and showed that there was a date for court that no one responded for.
It brought up many emotions. I got the information I needed went back to the school and told the financial advisor and supervisor everything. She couldn’t believe what I had told her. I got full financial aid. Then I went to my parents and my grandmother wanting the truth. My father said he had no idea. Then I found out he didn’t have any copies of the court paper work from the proceedings. My mother. She said she see didn’t know, but at the same time it would have been too emotional for her to handle. And my grandmother said that it didn’t matter. That is all she had to say about that.
it led to my mother finding the box with all the paperwork and her sending it to me in a package. I read through it all. It was all based on lies. Lies my mother told, my father told and my grandmother told. I also found out that family members on my moms side went to court and told stories as well.
Till this day, I do not trust any of them. Telling me the truth would have probably made things so much better for us all. There is one whole side of family I do not speak to because of a lie. And the rest that I do deal with, there is no trust, “create doubt in every truth expressed.”