Almost every little girl remembers what seems to be their first love story. Even if it isn’t a love story. Me, I know I definitely do. It’s been almost 14 years and I still remember the whole thing as though it was last week.
Most girls would admit we never fully remember how he felt, but we remember it like he was right along for the ride. I am the same; well when it comes to this story. I was a teenager (I say that to say I am not telling my age). I needed a break from school.
I needed that vacation. And it was everything and more. I never had a vacation like it before or since. I met him on the first day. I walked by him, we looked right into each others eyes and I was hooked. Obviously, its 14 years later and here I am blogging about him.
The whole week we spent together. Conversing alone. Holding hands. Hugs. Gazing into one another’s eyes and we lived in rooms a few doors from one another. That would’ve been the perfect thing for a boyfriend and girlfriend LoL. All that mushy stuff.
Any who. This young man was all around perfect to me. He was tall, dark and handsome. His eyes were gorgeous. His smile would make you melt and his voice left you hypnotized. To be a teenager, he was built on point. So much so I even still have his pictures we took back then.
It was not about his looks though. As an adult that week I would’ve tried anything to make sure it didn’t end. I would’ve took another trip to where he was from. Because we lived on total opposite sides of the country. Him, California and me, New York. I couldn’t do then what I could do now. I am okay with that. I think. Every once in a while I have these dreams or daydreams when I remember that week. Then I wonder what would I have done differently. I can’t take it back. There is no rewind button on life. You can only be in the present and go forward.
But I still go back and think of him.
That cruise opened me up emotionally, because I was so closed off to people. I had a rough childhood.
I left that ship on that Sunday crying and angry. Our last hug left me wanting more. I didn’t get to him to get exchange numbers when we were in port, but as soon as I was on the bus on the way to the airport he appeared. He saw me smiled, reached out and then the waterworks started. I hid behind my sunglasses and proceeded to be angry and sad for the next three days. I just needed to be a ‘heartbroken’ teenage girl.
My friend who was on the cruise with us, told me that when I left he asked how could he get in touch with me. Her cell phone was dead so she couldn’t give him my number out of her phone so it was done. Then a year later, she went back on a cruise. He was not there but his family was. The same family members who were with us the year before.
His family asked about me and said that he talked about me a lot. Which was surprising to them. She of course told them I was doing the same thing. When they got home, she called me to talk to him three way. Surprise Surprise. It made me happy. I was blushing the whole time. He told me how much he missed me. He told me how much he wished that somehow we could see one another again. It didn’t happen though.
That conversation has stuck. That trip has stuck. HE has stuck.
That week on that ship made me fall in love – well puppy love anyway. It did something to me.
It was my Victory Love Boat. I will say this though, this is not even half the feelings that I have. I think I also just need a new amazing vacation to trump this one. It’s sad that in 13 years that hasn’t happened yet. WTH have I been doing?